Is it possible for a person in this day and age to ever get to the point where they feel like they are doing enough…
…not just for one day, but, like, ongoing? I'm curious about individuals experience and what works for them as well as if there is empirical evidence of anyone who has achieved this on the regular. Asking for a friend.
GARY, New York City USA
February 2026
Sarah’s take:
Well, what is “enough”, anyway? “Enough” is an elusive moving target. So no, Gary, I don’t think it’s possible to feel like we are doing enough, or at least it’s not possible to feel that way for long. I have a very loud high-achiever voice, so I can completely relate to the feeling of not doing enough. There may be moments when I feel a sense I have, but my inner judge ensures that those moments are fleeting. I think the key is being able to distinguish between whether or not we are doing enough and whether or not we ARE enough. These are different things. If you and I can decouple our internal sense of self-worth with the external nature of doing, I think we get closer to being on a path to feeling a sense of peace. Not only about who we are but also about what we are trying to accomplish.
Sandy’s take:
Hi Gary (or should I say, Hi Gary’s friend),
Your question sounds like it is about personal expectations. And judgement.
Let’s start with personal expectations. How do you define, “doing enough”? Are you thinking about it in the context of tasks in a day, hours working outside of the home, supporting others, taking care of yourself, participating in the community, something else, or all of the above?
Also, when did you set or reset expectations of yourself? Or do they come from someone else? I think that a lot of us have outdated expectations we still try to honour as well as new ones that have been added on throughout our lives (without getting rid of any). We can get to a point where we no longer know which ones we want to live up to.
And then there is judgement. We can all fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to what we perceive others are doing and then judge ourselves for not “doing enough.” (thanks social media). Also, what we want out of life changes with ages and stages of life as well as our circumstances.
Here some things to try:
Find some set times throughout the year to reflect on the expectations you have set for yourself. What is important? What is urgent? What is reasonable? What is noise? What is in your control? What needs to change? This is your “normal” for now.
Then assess yourself against those expectations rather than all of the ones that are currently living in your head.
